How To Slay Your Social Anxiety Monsters As An Ambivert Presenter
Slay Your Social Anxiety Monsters: A Guide for Ambivert Presenters
Presentations. Ugh. As an ambivert, I crave social connection but also need downtime to recharge. Public speaking? It used to trigger my social anxiety monsters into a full-on monster mash. I’m talking answering-the-door-anxiety levels of dread.
Social anxiety loves to ambush us with specific fears, and three of its favourites are all-stars in public speaking situations:
Fear of Negative Evaluation:
We envision the audience dissecting our every word and gesture. Classic social anxiety monster move
Fear of Scrutiny:
Feeling like we’re under a microscope, with every flaw magnified. You know, social anxiety monster specialty
Fear of Unfamiliar Situations:
Public speaking throws us into uncharted territory, which can be terrifying for people with social anxiety – it’s practically the social anxiety monster’s theme park.
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HFA Symptoms
You may or may not have heard the term High Functioning Anxiety and so not sure whether you have it or not. Below are the common characteristics of someone with High Functioning Anxiety with my perspective as someone who is in this category.
What is High Functioning Anxiety?
High Functioning Anxiety is a term used to describe a person who ‘suffers’ from anxiety but who copes well in life despite having it. Closely linked to Generalised Anxiety Disorder, a person with HFA behaviours, tends to cope better than someone with GAD in their life and career. They may seem to have it all together but if there was a t-shirt that summarised their behaviour it would read- FUELLED BY FEAR
Everything they think and do is from a place of fear and we push ourselves to avoid the worst that can happen, even though the worst is usually in our heads.
Why Can’t You Be More Like….?
I grew up with those words branded into my mind so deep and so permanently that even to this day, I can hear my mother’s voice shouting that at me, for what seemed like every day of life growing up.
And though for years after I left home, and even years after my mother stopped verbalising those words, I still saw that idea in her responses to me and even if they weren’t there I still thought that this is what she really meant, and I reacted accordingly, by going inward and imploding with self hate and self loathing.
Saying No To Yourself Can Harm Those You Love Most
You’ve probably heard that saying no is one of the most challenging skills to do well, so that other people, or the other person you’re saying no to doesn’t get upset. And I completely agree that saying no is an art and those who can carry this off deserve their place in history as the most skilful of people.
And yet, without saying no we would all be subject to doing things that aren’t in our own best interests, and then yet again, saying no can harm not only you but those you love, and make life more difficult for you too, and here’s why.
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